February 5, 2009
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Suicide and emoness
http://cbs3.com/local/Camden.Sacramento.Online.2.926261.html
Just saw this story on Drudge.
"During an online conversation Monday night, 22-year-old Jesse Coltrane realized his friend was distraught and even suicidal.
"At one moment he was cutting his arms," Coltrane explained.
Jesse said he only knew the 18-year-old's first name and phone number and tried to convince his friend not to kill himself. The conversation lasted well into the evening while his friend continued cutting his forearm with a razor.
Jesse decided to call a police department in Sacramento and officers were able to track down where his friend lived in California.
"Certainly suicide is not new, certainly doing it in front of people that you know is not new unfortunately, but seeing it on a web cam while you're chatting on the internet is new and we're seeing that these are possibilities, before you only saw it in Hollywood," Sgt. Norm Leong of the Sacramento Police Department said."Ok...so here's my thing. First off, props to the guy who saved the 18 year old. Good for him.
Secondly...is it just me, or has the internet magnified the problem of attention whores? Now, I don't know the suicidal kid in question, but, I do know a few people who have done the cutting thing/threatened to commit suicide. I know one person who has kids who was on IM with me late one night threatening to commit suicide. I thought of the incident later, and while at the time all I felt was worry and concern, as I thought more and more about it, it pissed me off. The woman has kids and is threatening to commit suicide? What a cold-hearted selfish bitch. You do NOT commit suicide and leave your kids behind to pick up the pieces. I don't care how shitty your life is (the woman was upset because of her divorce).
Anyway, back to the point at hand. Right. This kid. My theory is this, and I very well could be wrong, but hear me out. I believe that if you truly want to commit suicide, you will. Right then and there. The people who go to the Brooklyn Bride and threaten to jump - they're not really going to jump. They just want the attention that comes with threatening to jump. If they really wanted to jump, they would have already.
I think in many ways, the internet has magnified this problem. Attention-seekers now have a whole new medium in which they can manipulate nice, unsuspecting people. My theory is that this suicidal kid in the story just wanted attention...and he got it alright.
I know I sound kinda heartless here, but it's not from lack of experience. Like I said, I know a few people who have thrown out the suicide card. Most of them, besides the woman I spoke of earlier, have told me that yea, it was the dumbest thing they could possibly have done and that all they wanted was attention. But like I said, I don't know this kid and it could be something completely different. It just creeps me out when I see a story like this come out...I think the internet, while wonderful, has enhanced the problem is attention-whores...stories like this make me think that much worse things are still to come.
Anywho, it's late (or early?) and I'm being inarticulate. G'night.
Comments (13)
I think you're right with the internet angle, and I have heard of some people even staging their suicide on YouTube. Which is about the dumbest thing you could ever do.
If someone was going to kill themselves, why would they try to get as much attention as possible before doing it? People who really want to end it won't change their mind. The people who threaten it and then change their mind after getting attention are the people who had bad childhoods, most of the time. I considered suicide at one time, and now I look back and realize that's the stupidest thing I could have ever done.
@Dare2BDiferentt - Interesting point on the childhood angle. But that is kind of my point - the people who want attention were never going to kill themselves to begin with...it was all staged from the start. I think that happens less frequently in real life...but I think it's a much bigger problem when the internet is involved.
I just read a study that says the myspace/facebook generation is the most narcisstic generation in a long time, and the individuals with the most friends tend to be the most narcisstic of them all. I wish I coukld remember where I read it. I would give you the link.
@TheJoyfulCynic - It's all about gratification, feeling good about something. Why do people want to fall in love? It feels good. People want attention for the same reason. The people who have something deeper disturbing them are the ones that can't be saved by attention. My cousin also attempted suicide, several times, and now she's 19 and has a beautiful baby. She's had some rough times, but that makes us who we are. The human race is more unique and complicated than any animal, by far.
@Krissy_Cole - I would definitely agree with that assessment. Remember last year when that video was put up on youtube of those girls tying up one of their friends and beating her with a chair? Everyone is obsessed with fame now, and it's soooo much easier to get it.
@Dare2BDiferentt - Very true.
@TheJoyfulCynic - Oh yes. I remember that video. It made me sick.
People who legitimately seek attention regarding their suicidal thoughts/actions (obviously not kids with angular haircuts slicing their wrists on webcams) are often seeking help. I'm bipolar and there was a point in my life (high school, go figure) where I did want to die, but more than that I wanted to know that someone loved me (obviously my perceptions were off, and I now know that there were and are people their who care about me). But your only way to rationalize your actions is that if no one interferes then...well, death is the right choice. If they don't want you to die, they'll stop you.
It's incredibly selfish and self-centered, and even manipulative, yeah. But that's where a lot of it comes from. Some people who call late at night saying they are going to kill themselves really want to. Death is their number 2 priority, while a need for love is 1. Which is why they don't just quietly take some pills and go to sleep and not wake up. There's those two kinds of suicidal: people who feel like dying is better than the situation they're in and do it, and people who see it as the only thing left to do to get what they need.
Just my thoughts.
The video media has been turned into a tool for suicidal attention whores. Personally, I can't tell the difference between the intended "suicidee" and just a well-acted emo. I see them all the time on YouTube. They stir up my sympathy and pity in wanting to help but...(tiring sigh) I seriously don't get suicidal people at all. Mainly they get on my nerves. That might be interpret as a cold hearted comment but it's all psychological really. And I think the people who do commit suicide are weak minded. For example, Megan Meier who was cybered-bullyed until she hanged herself in her own closet. Now tell me if that wasn't weak minded? And the factor in it: the contiversial myspace who houses millions of attention whores in it's computer networks. I just think people should analyze themselves before involving someone else...especially with video means.
Good points there!
I think there is a lot going on in people's minds when considering committing suicide. Rather than intensifying the problem, I think the internet may have just brought light to the problem. I think that we should encourage people who threaten cutting/suicide, or talk about depression, to get help!
There is something that people can do to help people in super depressed states like that (ie. prozac/treatment)... I think that giving people who desperately need attention, that attention they need is NEVER a bad thing.
Just my 2cents... Saw your plug and liked your blog.
this is so fucking true. i never understood attention whores, but the internet is their paradise. it's ridiculous. i've had numerous people in my life tell me they wanted to kill themselves. my answer always has been... well go do it. the people that really want to, don't tell anyone . they just sign off.
I wouldn't be mean to someone who threatened to kill themselves, because even if they don't mean it, they must be in a lot of pain. Crying out for help is what they are doing. HELP MAKE THE PAIN STOP! Tell me why I should live, tell me what is worth going through this life... But your right. People who want to kill themselves never cry out for help, they just do it.
I agree with you. The people who make the big show of wanting to die, they are the attention whores. It's the people who mention it in passing, and give you a half laugh, or the people who don't mention it at all... Those are the ones you need to worry about.
Personally, I didn't tell anyone about my attempt until after it was all over, and it took a couple days before the weight of what I had attempted to do hit me. I was ashamed of the fact that I had wanted to, and tried, to kill myself(to an extent, I still am, however treatment for my mental illness has changed my feelings towards it some.. especially to the point where I can talk about it and share it with other people)... attention whores aren't ashamed, they bring it up over and over again in conversation, and threaten it on a regular basis.
I was very morbid in high school. My friend and I used to openly tell people that, if they ever threatened to commit suicide, they would die. There was no turning back from it. Either they would succeed, or we'd succeed, because no one likes a liar. None of our friends committed or attempted suicide on our watch. Instead, they came to us for counseling, and never threatened.
I'm a little less morbid now. I agree, narcissism is on the rise, it makes my head hurt.
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